Embracing a Lifestyle of Discernment: The Things I Refrain From as a Christian Woman

Jun 29

10 min read

Hey y'all, I'm looking forward to wrapping up the week with a thought-provoking post that I hope will inspire you to reflect on your own life and experiences. I want to acknowledge that setting healthy boundaries is a vital part of living a life that honors our values and beliefs. I believe that embracing self-discipline can be a powerful way to cultivate resilience and inner peace.

I hope to offer reassurance to others who may be walking a similar path, and to inspire them to stay true to themselves, even in the face of societal pressure. I'd like to now share a personal list of boundaries I've set for myself, including things I've chosen to walk away from, reduce, or stop doing. While they may not resonate with everyone, these choices have been incredibly beneficial for me and I hope my honest thoughts can inspire others to reflect on their own boundaries.

New age spirituality

This is one subject I could delve into for hours... However, I'll keep it concise and provide a brief overview, as every Christian should be aware of the potential implications of adopting popular trends. Let's start with yoga, a prominent example that our writer Britni Potthoff has extensively covered in her post "Yoga Schmoga: Why Christians Should Steer Clear." If you're interested in learning more about her take on this issue, I encourage you to read her piece.

Sneak peek of her post:

"We have final authority in Him and His Word to cling to for a boost and revitalization in this stressful world. It’s ok not to fit in. It’s ok to be the black sheep in society. It’s ok! We are meant to be set apart from this world! Find rejuvenation in Christ, not yoga!"

We should prioritize activities that align with our faith and avoid those that compromise it. Hinduism is a religion that contradicts our Christian beliefs, and I don't see the value in investing time and resources in it. Mixing religions is not what God intends for us, and as Christians, we're called to remain faithful to Him alone. Idolizing anything other than the one true God is a serious offense, which is why practices like manifesting, using crystals, and relying on psychics are problematic.

These activities contradict Scripture and I just can't bring myself to participate in them, as they go against my commitment to following God's word. As a teenager, I was swept up in the trend of exploring the supernatural and occult, including tarot cards, zodiac signs, and psychics. I felt pressured to conform to what my friends believed, and I often let the world dictate my decisions rather than seeking guidance from God. I want to warn others: don't be fooled by those who claim it's acceptable to engage in these practices as a Christian. Instead, turn to the ultimate authority - your Bible - and listen to the voice of God alone.

Arguments/yelling

I've had it with everyone yelling and arguing... When I'm caught up in an argument, I feel sick to my stomach and uneasy. In the past, I've indulged in friend and family conflicts, but it didn't bring any positivity to my life. It made me dislike people more and I never want to feel that way again. Instead, I've learned to adopt a calm demeanor, which keeps me grounded and aware of every situation.. If it's unavoidable, I've developed the skill to remain calm, quiet, and walk away when things get heated. This approach has helped me become less resentful, spiteful, and angry towards others.

I did a post called, 'How Holding Back Your Words Can Bring Greater Insight and Understanding'. It shares the often-overlooked benefits of self-control and restraint when it comes to speaking. Learn how holding back your words can lead to greater clarity, deeper relationships, and a more intentional approach to communication.

Sneak peek:

"By taking a moment to think before responding, I've been able to avoid jumping to conclusions and rushing into things. It's been amazing to see how holding back my words has actually made my day better. Of course, it's not healthy to keep everything inside and we are meant to address certain things. I am saying that, It's about being intentional with our words and actions, and using self-control in a way that can be helpful to you and others."

Judging so harshly

While Christians are often told not to judge, the Bible actually instructs us to also exercise righteous judgment. I've personally struggled with judging wrongly, and when I do, I'm left feeling anxious and filled with hate. It's a uncomfortable feeling that took me a long time to overcome. However, through reflection and growth, I've learned to distinguish between hatred and healthy disapproval. It's okay to recognize and address wrongdoing without harboring ill will towards others.

It's important to acknowledge that calling out evil and standing against sin is a normal part of being a Christian. However, it's how we approach this task that matters. We must confront sin boldly, yet compassionately, without allowing fear of their judgment to silence us. Our goal is not to perpetuate hate, but to lovingly point out errors and encourage people to live a better life, ultimately leading them to salvation. We judge because we care deeply for others, not out of hatred or malice.

Drinking

I've wrestled with this issue because I initially clung to societal norms, seeking validation and acceptance from others. However, as I deepened my faith, I found myself walking away from all of it. I lost friends who couldn't understand why I refused to participate in activities like partying and drinking. While some Christians may argue that moderate drinking is acceptable, I've chosen to avoid it altogether.. For me, the benefits of avoiding alcohol far outweigh any potential drawbacks, and I've found peace in making this choice.

My recent post, 'The Dark Side of the Vine: Should Christians Drink Alcohol?', delves into the complexities of Christianity and drinking, making a compelling case for a thoughtful and Biblically-informed approach. Read it to gain a deeper understanding of the issues surrounding this debated topic and how you can live out your faith with integrity.

Sneak peek:

"Throughout the Bible, there are repeated warnings against drunkenness. Verses like 1 Peter 5:8 and Ephesians 5:18 remind us to be vigilant and filled with the Spirit, rather than indulging in excess. Interestingly, when wine is mentioned in a positive light (throughout the Bible), it's often in moderation, implying that self-control is key. This concept can be applied beyond just drinking - any loss of self-control in our lives can be dangerous and unhealthy."

Wearing revealing clothes

I'd rather not have to discuss this (again), but unfortunately, there's a need to address the topic of modesty, as many avoid it altogether. While it's true that salvation is not contingent on one's attire, being saved does bring a shift in perspective. As believers, we're called to live according to Biblical principles, which includes dressing modestly and portraying ourselves in a way that honors God. I've learned the hard way that trying to impress men with my appearance is a ridiculous effort, as it doesn't bring fulfillment or attract a meaningful connection.

In fact, it can lead to low self-esteem and a focus on the wrong kind of attention. If you are married, I believe that your body is reserved for your spouse alone, as it's a precious gift meant for their eyes only. I've shared my thoughts on this topic extensively, so feel free to check out my previous posts for more insight. I dress modestly to honor my future husband and God, recognizing that my appearance can be a reflection of my character. Additionally, I strive to avoid inadvertently causing anyone to stumble in their faith.

My post, 'Silent No More: Upholding Modesty and Protecting Children in Today's Society', explores the importance of modesty in today's society and how it relates to protecting children. Read it to gain a deeper understanding of the role modesty plays in promoting a culture of respect, dignity, and responsibility.

Sneak peek:

"Because of my experiences, I am able to understand and discuss the negative impact dressing immodestly has on mental health. I became very conscious of how men viewed my body. The disrespectful behavior from men made me feel insecure and exposed. I felt like I needed to hide away from everyone who even looked at me. It was difficult to determine if I was valued for my looks or my personality. I constantly questioned my worth to others. I am not alone in feeling this way."

Swearing

I've seen so many people struggle with habitual cussing, and so, I understand that it's a hard thing to quit. However, I'm grateful for examples of godly role models like my 70-year-old grandfather, who demonstrated kindness and character without ever using profanity. While I've never made it a part of my daily life, I have occasionally slipped up and used careless language in the past.

Surrounding yourself with media and company that use bad words can lead to a desensitization that may cause you to inadvertently adopt similar language. This serves as a reminder of the importance of being mindful of the company you keep. As a conscious choice, I prioritize speaking intentionally and thoughtfully, avoiding words that can offend or hurt others, and instead I focus on kindness and positivity. (I try at least)

Certain secular music

I'm not a fan of popular artists like Cardi B and Taylor Swift, and I believe our ears are way too valuable to fill with messages that promote negativity or poor values. Music has a significant impact, not just on us, but also on the young minds we influence, especially if we have children. All of this is why I opt for older artists and more wholesome genres like Country and Christian, which often prioritize good morals and patriotism.

Want to know the hidden truth behind the tunes? My thought-provoking post, 'The Sound of Seduction: The Allure of Music and the Danger of its Influence', sheds light on the often-overlooked impact of music on our minds and hearts. Dive in to discover the subtle yet powerful ways music can shape our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, and learn how to navigate the complex world of sound with wisdom.

Sneak peek:

"I'm left wondering: why are Christians still listening to this type of music? Is it simply because of the widespread popularity, or is there a deeper reason at play? Are we so enamored because we want to fit in with the world? As Christians, we are supposed to stand apart from the world. Yet it appears that many are willing to compromise their values for the sake of fitting in with modern culture."

Gossiping

When considering the way women interact with each other, do you often find yourself thinking about gossip? Unfortunately, it's become a deeply ingrained and normalized part of many social circles. Gossip is hurtful and draining, and it's time we shift our focus to building each other up instead of tearing others down. It's possible to have meaningful friendships without constantly talking about others or spreading rumors.

Some people may turn to gossip because they feel their lives are dull without it, but I believe that's a sad reflection of a lack of creativity and imagination. You can have a fulfilling life and strong friendships without resorting to drama or negativity. Speaking negatively and gossiping about others can actually make you come across as weak and unapproachable, causing people to distance themselves from you. No one wants to be friends with someone who thrives on drama and negativity.

I realized that this was not the kind of woman I wanted to be, so I changed my behavior by being mindful of what I say and who I surround myself with. It's okay to share your experiences, but honesty and authenticity are key - avoid spreading false information or pretending to be friends with someone just to talk about them behind their back. It's time to embrace class and kindness, leaving gossip and negativity behind.

Certain movies/tv/books

I was once enamored with popular media, devouring romantic/sexual and fantastical stories in books, shows, and movies. As a young girl, I was just swept away by the idea of romance and falling in love, just like many of my peers. I even started planning my wedding and jotting down potential baby names, completely caught up in the notion of "happily ever after." I didn't realize that the romantic relationships and scenarios I was exposed to (in media) weren't representative of real life.

This skewed my understanding of love and relationships, which can be influenced by what we consume. It's crucial to be mindful of what we watch, read, and listen to, as it can shape our desires and behaviors. Now that I'm aware of this, I choose to avoid content that promotes violence, sex before marriage or shows sex in scenes, and other harmful themes. I opt for pure and uplifting content that nourishes my mind and soul.

Want to know how the media is shaping your thoughts and actions? My post, 'God's Voice vs. The TV Guide: Which One Will You Listen To?', explores the subtle yet profound impact of media on our minds and behaviors. From desensitizing us to violence to manipulating our emotions, learn how to discern the voice of God amidst the noise.

Sneak peek:

"Why do we need to consume shows that glorify harmful behavior? It's not "It's just a show" - we're compromising our mental and physical well-being by allowing ourselves to be desensitized to such explicit material."

Sex before marriage

I'm being vulnerable with you about a topic that makes me a bit uneasy, but I really want to be honest about my life choices. The truth is, I've never had a romantic relationship, gone on a date, shared a real first kiss, or been intimate with anyone. While it's common for many people, including some Christians, to engage in pre-marital sex, I'm grateful that I've made the choice to wait until marriage.

I often receive reactions ranging from shock to disgust to annoyance. Even some Christians, whom I expected to be more understanding, have made hurtful comments. It's as if they're struggling with their own regrets about their choices, and instead of offering support or empathy, they lash out with negativity. While it's challenging not to take their words personally, I try to focus on the positivity and encouragement I receive from loved ones, and remind myself that my decisions are good..

I've never been part of the dating scene, and to be frank, I'm not even sure how it works. The men I've encountered have only seemed interested in one thing, and when I've expressed my desire to wait until marriage, they often react strangely or label me as prudish or too innocent. It's as if they can't accept the idea of waiting. I've never (yet) met a man who respected my decision and wanted to take me on a date despite knowing my boundaries.

As I think about sex, I envision it being with the one person I'm meant to love and cherish - my future husband. I don't want to surrender myself to someone who values my physical body over my heart and soul. The Bible's teachings on sexual purity, including waiting until marriage, make sense to me because they're rooted in a desire to protect and guide us towards a life of wholeness and commitment.

The past experiences that once troubled me no longer matter, as I've finally reached a place of contentment and freedom from the pressure. I trust that God will bring a godly man into my life who respects and honors my values. As I reflect on waiting, I'm filled with excitement thinking about the beauty of having a husband who is my first and only love. What's more captivating than knowing that my future spouse will be the one and only person to have experienced intimacy with me?

Scripture relating to this blog post

-Romans 12:2

-1 Corinthians 6:13- 6:20

-Proverbs 31:9

-1 Corinthians 7:2

-1 Thessalonians 4:3

-Galatians 5:19-21

-1 Timothy 2:9-10

-1 Peter 3:3-4

-1 Corinthians 10:31

-Ephesians 4:29

-Leviticus 19:16