The Dangers of Insecurities and Vanity: How They can Impact Your Relationship with God

As females, we often experience significant pressure to uphold certain beauty standards. This burden seems to increase as we grow older because we start to observe the expectations placed on women around us. It often feels like looking a certain way is essential for acceptance and better treatment. This pressure is something many of us constantly think about and struggle to deal with.

I know and understand that men also go through similar struggles, and I wholeheartedly support them during those difficult times. However, this blog aims to provide a space for women to relate to and engage with our content, so I will be concentrating on addressing issues that specifically impact us.

Please try to understand that wanting to look your best is not a negative trait, but issues arise when it leads to you becoming obsessed. This is why I want to explore insecurities and vanity in this post. I am shedding light on how they can distance you from both your family and from God. I remember the moment in my childhood when I understood the importance of my appearance.

Growing up, my family always ended up dressing up in our best clothes for church. I loved curling my hair and wearing pretty dresses, not because I was seeking to look beautiful per se. I was just a young girl who loved flowers and feeling like a princess. There's nothing wrong with that. However, a lot changed for me. Post-church gatherings at home often turned into what felt like gossip sessions, rather than meaningful discussions among the women in my family.

As a child, I was incredibly intrigued by the drama-laden discussions that regularly took place among the adults. Kids naturally find themselves immersed in grown-up conversations, which, in my case, often revolved around women they hated, weight loss strategies, and makeup preferences. Being young and impressionable, I looked up to these women and felt the need to conform to their ideals. In a way, I was scared that they would start to dislike me as well.

Whenever my family started talking about weight and dieting, I couldn't help but think about my own body. Their comments about women just fueled my desire for perfection. Despite the possible opportunities for learning in these discussions, I wasn't gaining anything positive. Instead of understanding the significance of a healthy lifestyle involving exercise and good nutrition, I was misled into thinking that crash diets were the solution.

Rather than understanding how to develop authentic friendships, I was exposed to gossiping about friends behind their backs. During that time, it was my great-grandmother who caused the most insecurities in me. She was consumed by a strong desire for perfection, likely caused by her upbringing. She passed on this mentality to the women in the family and didn't see any issues with it.

Every woman she met faced relentless pressure to be thinner and prettier. I still remember her offering money for me to lose weight when I was only ten and it makes me want to cry thinking about it. Despite her constant critiques, my love for her remains. I often wonder about the hardships my great-grandmother faced in her childhood and how they may have fueled her fixation on beauty.

As for me, I deeply regret the behaviors I exhibited around my younger girl cousins, whom I played an important role in raising. They looked up to me and I cannot overlook the fact that I could have changed how they viewed the world. My unhealthy habits, such as severe dieting and negative self-talk, likely influenced them to imitate similar behaviors. Unfortunately, I ended up portraying the negative habits that other women showed me. This is why this topic resonates deeply with me.

During my teen years, my fixation on appearance consumed me to the point where nothing else held importance. My connection with God suffered greatly. I became so self-absorbed that I neglected to prioritize Him. While I continued praying, my intentions weren't pure, and I struggled to grasp the teachings in the Bible. I felt so overwhelmed in my pursuits and questioned whether or not God loved me. Self-loathing led me to avoid mirrors, lash out for no reason, and inflict punishment on myself after mistakes.

This cycle of insecurity not only affected my well-being, but also distorted my perception of God. My family relationships also struggled because I wasn't truly alive anymore. Dieting, cosmetics, clothing, and more became everything to me. I reached a point where I felt repulsive to those around me. I didn't realize that wanting to be beautiful was going to be my biggest downfall. I even withdrew from attending church out of fear that I was too fat or ugly. All in all, I was a disaster of my own making.

When vanity becomes a central focus in our lives, it slowly destroys us. It is absolutely fine to aspire to be healthy or to dress nicely. When it becomes the only thing you think about, you are now idolizing it. I won't tell you that I am completely free from insecurity or vanity, as no one truly is. I believe that our emotions persist even if we try to hide them. They offer insight into our humanity, and without self-discipline, they can gradually seize control and deprive us of peace.

I still have doubts about my identity, dislike being photographed, shy away from crowded spaces, and fret over my weight. Nevertheless, there has been a change in how I handle these emotions. Instead of fixating on the negative, I now try my best to stay calm and grateful. This prevents the bad thoughts from taking control of my day. I get that the road ahead might be filled with uncertainty, but my main goal is to direct my focus towards God.

I've seen that my preoccupation with worldly matters lessens when I make an effort to strengthen my relationship with Him. While I still value beauty and yearn to be of use to others, it's all just part of being human. It's normal to have a variety of emotions that can throw you off track, but the key is to practice self-control. Let go of insecurities and vanity; you may still grapple with them internally, but they shouldn't define you outwardly.

I have come to see that in times of vulnerability and self-doubt, the thought of Jesus and what He did for us brings me peace. Immersing myself in the teachings of the Bible redirects my thoughts from worldly nonsense. My hope is to communicate to girls and women that feeling insecure and desiring beauty are common emotions that we all share.

But we must not allow these feelings to dominate us to the extent that they harm others and become the primary focus of our lives. When we become preoccupied with superficial concerns, we run the risk of moving away from God's intended path for us. Nobody wants that to happen, especially not me. That's why I really appreciate these blog posts.

They don't just raise awareness, but they also give hope and show a heart warming amount of honesty. We all make mistakes and have our own battles, but if we stick together, pray, and put more focus on God, we can become more like Jesus and have less to stress about. Now, doesn't that sound amazing?