The Imperfect Journey: Finding Peace in God's Love, Even When We Fail

I've struggled to put my thoughts into words, as self-doubt and insecurities have plagued me for days. Despite often projecting a sense of joy and positivity, I must confess that I've been grappling with inner turmoil, lacking genuine happiness and peace. I share stories from my past with a positive spin, not because I'm exempt from pain, but because it's how I try to help others who may be struggling. It's not always easy to navigate life's challenges, and sometimes the struggles can feel overwhelming.

As I think about my posts, I often wonder if I'm oversharing, appearing too negative, or coming across as a downer to others. But my desire to be honest about my journey wins in the end.. I want to break the silence and stigma surrounding mental health issues like depression, trauma, and anxiety, which many Christian women face. By sharing my life (good and bad), I hope to create a sense of community and connection with others who are going through similar struggles, letting them know they're not alone and that there are people who understand and relate.

It's easy to think that being a Christian means life will always be perfect, but that's definitely not accurate. While it's true that my faith has brought me comfort and has helped me through tough times, I've still experienced struggles and bad days. In fact, the Bible never promises us a life free from pain or sin. Instead, we're warned that we'll face tests of patience and faith in this imperfect world. The question is, will we let our struggles break us or make us stronger?

Lately, I've been overwhelmed by a crushing sense of loneliness that's exacerbated my depression and left me feeling more isolated than ever. Despite knowing that this would be a significant test of my resolve, I've started to feel the urge to fall back into old, destructive patterns, such as self-harm, overeating, and being influenced by negative friends and toxic media. It's as if I'm on the brink of surrendering all the progress I've made in breaking free from those habits and regressing to a place I thought I'd left behind.

Why did I fall back into bad habits? It's simple: I made a stupid decision to watch one episode of a (bad) tv show. And then, it led me to watch more tv and not reading my Bible as much.. It slowly eroded my well-being, filling me with feelings of depression, anger, and loneliness. I began comparing myself to others, consumed by envy and dissatisfaction. I felt like I didn't measure up - not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not blessed with a family or love. And it's true, comparison is a thief of joy... I thought I could handle a little bit of (bad) secular media, but it took me down a dark path that I never want to revisit again.

To move forward from these actions, I've decided to take a step towards healing by praying and seeking guidance from God. I know I'll face pain and temptation again, but that won't stop me from having open and honest conversations with Him. The recurring theme that's been echoing in my mind is the importance of reading my Bible regularly. My struggles often stem from not being consistent with prayer and reading. I am determined to make a change and let God's word guide me towards a path of growth.

It's important to understand that my efforts to live a godly life don't earn me salvation. Salvation is solely through faith in Jesus' death, burial, and resurrection (1 Corinthians 15:1-4). However, as a result of being saved, you should desire to live in a way that honors God. You are going to sin and make many mistakes, but that shouldn't stop you from striving to live according to God's word. Rather than using sin as an excuse, continue to seek guidance from the Bible and strive for growth, knowing that it's okay to stumble, but you should never give up.

Everything I shared with you, advice and all, is what I will be doing for myself. I will never stop looking to God, even when I feel like a failure at times. I will never stop trying to help others on their journey, even when ours look the same at times. You know why? Because that's what people need. People need to know they aren't alone and right now we need honesty... I won't sugarcoat my experience and I won't pretend everything is dandy when it's not. I will not give you advice without reminding you who to look to first (GOD). Because He is undoubtedly the only one who is always there.

As I look to the future, I want to leave a message that's clear: no matter what happens, I pray that my posts will always inspire you to turn to God first. Even in the darkest moments, when we stumble and fall, it's crucial to remember that He is always there to lift us up. I hope that this message today has shown that I'm not immune to struggles and that it's important to get back up and keep moving forward. And I pray that you will do the same. Have a beautiful day!