The Importance of Moderation

I'm aware that this post may not resonate with everyone, and some might even find it annoying or unhelpful. However, I'm hoping that one person might find something valuable in it, so I'm taking the chance to share it. I'm all for striving to be better versions of ourselves, but I think it's essential to address that our conversations about personal growth often overlook some very important issues. Specifically, I'd like to speak on gluttony and under-eating, which are often hidden under the rug in the Christian community.

While we may occasionally indulge in excess, these habits can have serious consequences, and it's about time we start talking about it! Food is a common topic in our culture, from fast food commercials to casual conversations. While I'm not opposed to discussing it occasionally, it becomes a problem when it's the only thing that's on someone's mind. Personally, I have struggled with food-related issues for most of my life and I am now willing to share my experience with everyone. I developed an eating disorder at a young age and we all know that those thoughts occur quite fast in a little girl.

Food became a scary obsession for me. Every day, I'd write down what I ate and every word from my mouth was related to food. I'd often restrict my eating to the point of near-starvation, only to binge later and hide the evidence. You don't even want to know the amount of ice cream containers I went through. It's like I lost touch with reality and created my own depressing world. I'd become so fixated on it that I'd struggle to connect with others and my faith would suffer as a result. My weight was fluctuating wildly and I found myself with no joy or satisfaction in my life.

I developed a strong aversion to food, and my body suffered greatly because of it. To make matters worse, I have a chronic condition called Eosinophilic Gastroenteritis, which made it impossible to eat normally without experiencing severe physical pain. Even small amounts of food would trigger symptoms I couldn't handle, and I often wondered if it was a punishment, mistakenly blaming God for it. When I was seventeen, I ended up being in and out of the hospital for a year. That environment became my home and I felt like my disease was in total control of my life.

It all got worse when it left me unable to eat for a month. And at my lowest point, I was overwhelmed by anger and anxiety, and my actions were scrutinized by those around me. Upon further examination, I realize that my loved ones had every right to comment on my actions. Despite being in my Bible, I didn't want to focus on God and I looked towards the world for my answers, making a costly mistake. After being discharged from the hospital, I was consumed with thoughts about pre-flare-up foods and anxiety about possibly losing access to food forever. This led me to adopt a reckless "YOLO" mentality.

I obsessed over eating, planning meals, writing down recipes, and binge-watching food network shows, neglecting everything else in my life. I was not only pushing my family away, but I rarely ever thought about my faith. Because honestly, I was a reckless and emotional girl who was very lost. As I struggled to regain control over my thoughts, I fell back into those habits like overeating and starving myself. I exacerbated my Eosinophilic Gastroenteritis symptoms by refusing to admit that I was overwhelmed. I didn't want to confront the reality that I lacked self-control, and as a result, I became trapped in a cycle of chaos.

I've learned the hard way that it's crucial to address these issues head-on, and I don't want anyone to repeat the same mistakes. I've walked the path of self-doubt, having experienced both underweight and overweight struggles, and I've felt the crushing thought of believing myself to be worthless. I also discovered the strange sense of pleasure that can come from restricting or indulging in food. If you know what I mean by that, I am terribly sorry for it. This painful experience is why I'm compelled to share my story, hoping that it can help others avoid the same torment.

What troubles me currently is the idea of the body positivity movement, where unhealthy habits and overindulgence are often hailed as empowering and acceptable. This continues to leave me concerned for the well-being of the women around me. As I hear the discussions about body positivity, I'm filled with a sense of frustration and sadness. Instead of promoting "self love" and diets that harm you, we should be encouraging people to prioritize their physical and mental well-being. I am so tired of people ignoring the obvious health issues that plague our community. You may find me wrong for saying that, but I am not sorry for it.

It's important to acknowledge that being underweight and overweight can have devastating consequences. I am also exceptionally worried about what happens to the children observing these actions. It's unacceptable that they are also struggling with weight-related issues. No child should be burdened by weight worries, nor should they be pushed into the actions of starvation or binge eating. Rather, we have to teach children the value of a healthy lifestyle and provide them with the support and guidance they need to develop a positive relationship with food and their bodies.

This means teaching them good eating habits while also showing them how to enjoy treats in moderation. I also urge parents to think about how they talk regarding their own bodies. You need to avoid sending harmful messages that can lead to the same issues I have been through. Rather than solely focusing on the sins like lying and cheating, I believe it's about time we think about the significance of talking about this. To all women, I want you to remember that you're not alone in your struggles with weight, self-control, or depression/anxiety.

We all face the temptation of sin and will inevitably make mistakes, getting entangled in our appearance, cravings, and worldly desires. Recognizing my own shortcomings, I commit to owning up to my choices and I will work towards growth in all areas of life. My ultimate aspiration is to overcome my feelings of doubt and desire, and I believe the key to achieving this lies in having a deeper connection with God. Now, let's break the silence and shame related to this topic and instead focus on being positive role models for those around us.

I will always try to be open and honest about my own struggles, and I encourage you to do the same. By sharing our challenges and vulnerabilities, we can support each other in our journey towards better mental and physical health. Remember that you're not alone - I'm here for you, and God is always with you, offering guidance and comfort. Don't be afraid to reach out and release your burdens; you might be surprised at how freeing it can be.